Breath to Breath

You ever have one of those moments when you just stop suddenly and can't grasp how in the world you already are almost 18? (Or insert you're age here) Because I had a whole day like that. Between moving to my third host family today, only having almost exactly 5 more months of exchange left, senior year of high school....18th birthday in two months....I could go on and on.On one hand I wonder...'Wow Sara, you've done nothing with your life so far...' But I really can't say that, I'm on Rotary Youth Exchange right now, that's something alright! I just should never watch reality tv shows of people my age going off to college...it makes it all to real.
When did I grow up? Yes I'm only 17, and who are we kidding, I will always be a child. But just the fact that I have real responsibilities now, that I don't have time to always sit back and play...Don't you remember your freshman year, when you just couldn't wait to be one of the seniors? Yeah where did all that time go? 4 years???? What the heck! Stop going so quickly! Seriously life..mind letting me cherish the moment before you move on so fast? Thanks.
We never know when we're done here, we never know when our loved ones are going to leave us. It always happens too fast. So don't waste your time being enemies, angry with people you actually love, spending waaaaay to much energy on trying to win a fight - when, I bet if you just let go of your pride, you'd see how stupid you were actually being. And yes I'm saying this from experience, it's called life.
I've been on exchange for almost 7 months already, I had my oldest brother get hit by a truck and almost die, that was back in December, now he's finally walking again: 3 months later. I also had a wonderful uncle pass away very suddenly, in his mid 40's, from a heart attact. I've not been able to be there for my family, either times. If that wasn't the hardest thing to go through in my life, I don't know what was.
Because even though we hear it all the time: We really don't know what we have, until it's gone, or until it's almost taken away from us. And yes I know, if I think I'll never take anything for granted or waste time being angry or hurt over something stupid, I'm sure I will, I'm only human and we do that. But, I can say this. I may not remember for a moment, but I won't forget the fact that I live an insainly blessed life. We all do - whether it seems it or not at times. We should be smiling and just saying 'thank you' with every breath we breath. Because we still have breath to breath, and besides everything else we have, if it was all taken away, we still have that, and that my friends, is enough.
God bless you all, I miss you dearly and pray for you every day. I love you and thank you for being in my life. :) <3
Sara K. C. Zwink