American music --> I miss America.
Brazilian music --> I love Brazil and never want to leave. .....and so the deep thinking begins.
Seriously, I could live happily in one of the two. But I want to have it all - I want my (hypothetical) future family to know both Alaska (USA) and Brazil. Am I asking too much?
Maybe I can only have one - but just thinking that, living without Brazil or the USA lifestyles, just makes my heart ache and my eyes water. Honestly. My friend/classmate asked me ''Where are you most happy?'' but also ''You have to remember, this is only one year here for you, you had your whole life in Alaska.'' They are both good points.
However, I always thought, knew, that for my adult life, I wouldn't stay in Alaska. That I would travel, live for a year or so in many different places. And yes, Alaska is my home. I will always visit, and (again with the hypothetical future family), I want them to know Alaska as a home also. But now Brazil is too much a part of my life, I don't want to live without it. I can't.
But then I think, what about Europe, I always dreamed about Europe being my travel-young-experiences. I think I would do so well there also! It's not really a question about 'where I'd do the best' because I know I can make it work anywhere. It's about where do I want to make it work most.
Can I really do it all? Travel-work-study in Brazil for another year (thinking about returning August 2011 for another year kinda on my own), then do the same in Europe...that's my dream right there.
The big hold up here - HOW?! I know, or at least lately I've been thinking a lot of working/studying in International Relations...but then, do what exactly?! I love traveling, languages, tourism, writing, politics, communications, teaching, helping, volunteering, fashion, ...anyone have any idea what career I can make out of that?! If you do, please let me know :D
I really just don't know what my next move is after I get back from exchange. Well - ok I do know. I will finish up high school, since I don't get credit for my senior year while being on exchange. But come summer (or winter, depending on your hemisphere ;) ) July-September 2011. I don't know what to do. You may have heard me say before that for the past three years I've wanted to go on exchange, so I always knew that was my next move in life. Well now my exchange is wrapping up, unfortunately.., and the future is looming....or waiting??
I really just want security. Not money wise, but just in knowing in life what I REALLY want to do. With exchange it was a no-brainer! It was a huge crazy leap, but I was so sure of it! Nervous yes, but so sure! I just want to know what my next leap in this path of life is! Is that too much to ask?
I don't want to lose one of the lifestyles that I love so much, Alaska, USA, Brazil. I know that the more I travel, the more places and lifes I will fall in love with...but as Shakespeare once wrote ''It's better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all.'' ~He may have been one crazy, toking playwright, but I'm pretty darn sure he's right about this one. Great - at least I'm sure about one thing, well hey - ya gotta start somewhere!
As always, thanks for reading, I love to get comments also *hint hint*.
God bless,
Sara
You can and will do everything God's planned for you to do... don't get too stuck on anything that might not be a part of that (He won't disappoint you), and never stop dreaming.
ReplyDeleteHas anyone ever told you you stress too much over these things? ^u^ You try to do so much, and love each as passionately as the next. What can you expect when you're opening so many doors? You can't go through them all, and some are going to shut on you. :p I'm sorry life's so full of tough choices, but aren't you glad we get to choose? :D
That is true, I know God has an awesome life ahead of me...
ReplyDeleteNOOo I want to go through all the doors!!!!.....That is a good point, I should be thankful for all these amazing oppertunities.. :)
Sara, this is how ALL exchange students feel when we get home. We ALL want to do it again, and again, and again. When I left Brazil, it was my home. And it killed me to leave. But I got my degree in International Business, studied abroad in Barcelona, Spain, and now hope to travel all over the world, all while making time to go back and visit my friends from Brazil and Spain. So if I were you, I would stick to the International Relations path and see where that takes you. Because that includes the majority of your list. You could also think about double majoring in Communications :) Then you would be unstoppable.
ReplyDeleteHaha way to describe my dream. Double major in International Relations/Business and COmmunications - that's my main thought right now.
ReplyDeleteI know...I just gotta push through and make even more amazing oppertunities and experiences in life. Intercambio - Vale a pena.